I hate goodbyes. I am not good with goodbyes. I don't do goodbyes. Goodbye sounds like something is ending, like I will never see you again. "See you later" should always be said instead. At least that is what I tell myself when a goodbye is needed.
This is a season of see you laters.
As I type this, a lot of emotions swell up. I want to cry, but my tear ducts have been on strike from overworking since last week. I am still processing some of those messy feelings, trying to fight it, telling myself I'm okay. And I know I am. But I am also not on some days. Saying goodbye to the Chan family has got to be one of the hardest "see you laters" in my life. The impact they have on our family is beyond description. James, Ninja and I miss them so so much. They were family here. I don't think any of the California tourism commercials were nearly as effective as the Chans' relocation. One move from the Chans guaranteed trucks full of future visitors!
Anyways, I don't think I can ever really explain all the things I feel. Even the 3 page single-paged letter I wrote to them! To be honest, I think I am still coping and figuring things out. I actually wrote several other posts before this one. But I guess they just never felt right to post. They were all too sad, and I guess too "me-focused." But I see very clearly of how God is using this time to mold me. To remind me of His goodness. To see Him. And I see how He has brought me from a place of grief to a place of gratitude. Now every time I miss them, I am instantly overwhelmed by God's grace and a heart filled with thankfulness. "All glory to God!" as the Chans reminded me one last time before their departure to the golden state.
I am amazed how much one can learn and grow just by being in the presence of somebody. And I feel so incredibly blessed that I was able to do life with them in such close proximity. As I looked back on my own story, I remember a time when I fought God and refused to move here. But God chose this place for me and called me to this city, to live in this building, and made me neighbor of some pretty amazing people, who just happen to love dogs! Yes, bonus points there! I look back and I see God's footprints all over. And as He writes my story, I continue to see God's goodness in my life. So, as much as this hurts at the moment, I don't think I would change a thing. Because I know He is good.
So Chans, if you are reading... I will leave you with the only appropriate thing that seems to describe what I cannot.
15 Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere,[e] 16 I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, 17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom[f] and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.[g]19 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 20 that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. 21 Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. 22 God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. 23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.
This is a season of see you laters.
As I type this, a lot of emotions swell up. I want to cry, but my tear ducts have been on strike from overworking since last week. I am still processing some of those messy feelings, trying to fight it, telling myself I'm okay. And I know I am. But I am also not on some days. Saying goodbye to the Chan family has got to be one of the hardest "see you laters" in my life. The impact they have on our family is beyond description. James, Ninja and I miss them so so much. They were family here. I don't think any of the California tourism commercials were nearly as effective as the Chans' relocation. One move from the Chans guaranteed trucks full of future visitors!
Anyways, I don't think I can ever really explain all the things I feel. Even the 3 page single-paged letter I wrote to them! To be honest, I think I am still coping and figuring things out. I actually wrote several other posts before this one. But I guess they just never felt right to post. They were all too sad, and I guess too "me-focused." But I see very clearly of how God is using this time to mold me. To remind me of His goodness. To see Him. And I see how He has brought me from a place of grief to a place of gratitude. Now every time I miss them, I am instantly overwhelmed by God's grace and a heart filled with thankfulness. "All glory to God!" as the Chans reminded me one last time before their departure to the golden state.
I am amazed how much one can learn and grow just by being in the presence of somebody. And I feel so incredibly blessed that I was able to do life with them in such close proximity. As I looked back on my own story, I remember a time when I fought God and refused to move here. But God chose this place for me and called me to this city, to live in this building, and made me neighbor of some pretty amazing people, who just happen to love dogs! Yes, bonus points there! I look back and I see God's footprints all over. And as He writes my story, I continue to see God's goodness in my life. So, as much as this hurts at the moment, I don't think I would change a thing. Because I know He is good.
So Chans, if you are reading... I will leave you with the only appropriate thing that seems to describe what I cannot.
15 Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere,[e] 16 I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, 17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom[f] and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.[g]19 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 20 that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. 21 Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. 22 God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. 23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.
