Growing a Bump

Since there's a baby on my lap and no time for "real" paragraphs, here are some of my jumbled thoughts in bullet points. 

• First and foremost. God is faithful. After 20+ hours of labor, an induction that I had not planned (more like a decision I really struggled with), and a baby who's as tiny as a bean, everyone came out healthy. James included. Let's just say no one passed out witnessing mother nature. 

• I married a very patient man. From food craving runs to shushing a screaming newborn to sleep. My husband has endless patience and his love for his family never ceases to amaze me. I am a total maniac in comparison... which leads me to my next point.

• Being a mother has revealed my shortcomings like never before. Imagine all the things that can possibly put you in a bad mood happening all at once. Nothing tests you like being in pain, sleep deprived, hungry, covered in poop and being screamed at all at the same time. But then one cute smile from your baby somehow makes you forget all that went wrong. It also makes you pray that much harder for God to intervene and change your heart. 

• I gave birth to a wild woman. I have a daughter who grunts like a caveman and pinches like a crab. Her actions and noises make us laugh, then worried, then they would send us into a state of panic with frantic Google searches. She is also the cutest thing ever but I am very biased. 

• I didn't know what multi-tasking was until I had a child. There's nothing like rocking a baby with your left arm, googling with your right hand, petting Ninja with your left foot and picking things off the floor with your right toes. All while making shushing sounds with your mouth.

• Changing diapers is like defusing a bomb. From the moment you open it up, you have approximately 10 seconds to do your thing, change it and close it up as fast as possible. But chances are you won't make it. 8 out of 10 times, you will get peed or pooped on. Often both at the same time. Maybe I am just bad at this... or maybe my baby thinks it's funny and does it on purpose. I am thinking the latter. 

• The female body is incredible. Being able to grow a baby, somehow getting it out and then providing sustenance for it after birth? Wow. Just wow. No wonder the postpartum body looks the way that it does. I am adjusting to my new body and I am trying to embrace a few of those extra "gifts" I got from pregnancy. From stretch marks to extra inches here and there to a completely new shoe size. But every "new" that appears is a reminder of the incredible journey and miracle that took place and I am proud of that. 

• I have awesome friends and I love them. I can't even list out all the things that my friends had done from the time I got pregnant to the moment I came home with the baby. The prayers that were lifted up, the encouraging messages I received, the dishes that were cleaned, and the meals that were delivered (and definitely many many more!) James and I are so thankful for the community that we get to come home to and we are blessed to have our daughter grow up in such a place. 

In the end, all I can say about my pregnancy is that God carried me. 

The Final Countdown

Hi Baby girl (Yes! It's a girl!),

I can't believe it is only weeks away from your arrival! Time has flown by and I still cannot wrap my mind around how fast this is all happening. I am so excited, yet so nervous! Nervous about how you are going to come into this world and how I will handle the physical pain as well as all the changes you will bring into my life. Just so you know, my pain tolerance is basically nonexistent... so we will see! As it is getting closer to the due date, I find myself feeling more anxious. But time and time again, I find myself running back to God, my ultimate comforter. I am entering into uncharted territory and I am seriously relearning what it means to trust and walk by faith. So baby, you are already stretching me (physically and spiritually!) and pushing me to grow in so many ways. I am truly grateful for this time and I know it will be a lifelong learning process (for all of us). I know it will be a huge adjustment for you as well, so get ready! We will do this together. 

At 37 weeks, you are running out of room. And I can feel every single one of your twists and turns, especially those insane karate kicks and chops of yours. I often feel like I am getting beat up from the inside! But it's funny how they kind of make me happy too. Weird, isn't it? Besides the expected aches/pains, the summer heat makes things pretty rough. But I will endure, for as long as you are healthy and cozy in there, I am happy to be your home. 

On another note, your room (more like your corner) is complete! It has been a joy putting together your little dwelling place and I can't wait to spend time with you there (oh and definitely Ninja too since he has already claimed the rug...) 

Aaahh! I can't wait to meet you! See you soon! Please go easy on me and come out as fast as you can, okay? Thanks!

Love, 
Mom