Baby Jane

The past two days were as physically exhausting as they were emotional. Dropping off the baby sis at college was a big deal. Not only for my parents, but for me as well. Maybe it is because she is my best friend, or maybe because I am 9 years older, but my protective instinct was turned at its maximum. 

Emotions were running high from the moment we got in the car at 4am in the morning. "Make sure you take vitamins,""make sure you eat when you are hungry," "get enough sleep," "find a fellowship," "see a doctor when you are sick," and an endless list of other parental advices for the college freshman. I had to interrupt and put a pause in their worry listings, because to be honest, it was kind of stress inducing (we have not even left our driveway yet at this point!) We were all tired, all full of thoughts, and we all had a different way of dealing with it. I think I was just emotionally unstable majority of the time. Driving by a tree could potentially make me burst into tears. 

The move itself went exceptionally smooth. God was so good to us. Forecast said it was supposed to rain. But it didn't until we were all moved in. I worried for my parents' backs. Sister was not feeling well. And I am just not all that strong. But our family didn't have to do a thing. This young man went to check out a cart for us to move stuff in (even though he wasn't supposed to,) and the Penn State football team just happened to walk by and carried everything for us. My mom would later pray and thank God for the army of muscular angels. "God is good. God is good." Those are the words my mom repeated throughout the trip. And indeed God IS good! 

I am not so good with goodbyes. And Letting go was really hard. I don't think I ever want my future kids to go to college. (Just kidding, James) But really, I was wondering why I was having such a hard time letting my sister go. I thought long and hard, and I think I've found my answer. 

My sister means a lot to me. I don't think I would be where I am without her. God has blessed me with a baby sister who's fearfully and wonderfully made. God has used her again and again to shape me without her even realizing it. She has taught me how to forgive and what it looks like to be forgiven. She keeps me accountable in my actions both at church and at home. She teaches me how to share and to give freely. I love that she sees the world so differently than me and always challenges me to see things from other perspectives. I love her big big heart for people and the selfless side of her that people don't always see. She keeps things to herself and ponders deep thoughts in her heart. No matter how busy she is, she will always make time for people. She is a loyal friend and she cares and loves more than she shows. She always amazes me and I think most people don't give her enough credit for all the things she does right. And I am SO proud of her. 

I am really sad that I won't get to see her as often, and I will miss our hang out times together. Family dinners will not be the same. A big part of me is scared of losing our friendship and closeness because of the distance. But I am so excited for this journey for her. Like mom and dad, I worry for all the unknown and uncertainties ahead. I worry for her choices, I worry for the friends she will make, and the list goes on. But I also know she is well taken care of. So I worry but I do not worry. God has shown his goodness yesterday, today, and will continue to tomorrow and the day after. So instead of worrying about losing what we have now, I will look forward to a new season of friendship and closeness with her. It may or may not look the same, but I am excited to see to how our relationship will grow from here on out. 

If I am rambling, it is because I am crying my eyeballs out right now and James keeps showing me cute animal videos to cheer me up. 

Janie, 
If you are reading, Mom, dad and I miss you a lot already. Home is always waiting and we are a phone call away. You are so loved and we are all so proud of you. And sorry for the sappiness! #sorrynotsorry